So you’re dying now

That woman never never hugged me, she never held my hand, never wiped away the tears, never joined in a laugh or a giggle. Never acknowledged I (or we) existed.

At the same time though I am sorry she’s dying. I am sorry that she has lost her mind. I am sorry that she missed out on getting to know me, and I her.

What she did, or rather what she did not do has had rather a profound influence on my life. I am the way I am because of her. I try not to be bitter, what good would that do?

I think her treatment of me and my sibling has made me sensitive, more emphatic.

She has made me stronger. She has made me hate injustice, despise judgement based on prejudice, hate the haters of this world.
Well really she has made me pity the haters. They are too closeminded and shortsighted to see that all they are doing is preventing themselves from getting to know something of the world, by refusing to accept, they are stopping themselves from enjoying all of the variety that this world has to offer.

So, grandmother, I wish you peace in your last few moments of this planet, you have taught me about the world of hurt and the world that pains, and you have helped shape the person that I am.

Peace be with you.

Sooo…this was a colossal waste of space in 2010. but next year I hope to do more.
I hope to
(a) find a much better skin! XD I like the banner but I just am not in love with the rest of the layout.
(b) ditto with my tumblr.
(c) update at least once a week with a themed day like Tuesday carousel by gala darling (galadarlig.com)
(d) actually have a theme to this blog, such as things that I really like.
[:D I have many interets I just don't have time to explore/play with them as much as I'd like-maybe this will spur me on to practise/dp stuff more and stop wasting so much time pointlessly online! (now it can be research XD) and maybe i'll doscover something about myself along the way]
(e) do this and do well in my 2011 Fyp work and exams XD XD
(we’ll see how long it lasts this time anyways!!)

all the best for now,
Lany

in reference to your previous post

this is the j cole thing i was referencing, its the intro to his album

two years today

its been two years but every time I think about it I want to cry.
It makes me angry that the police can do nothing, its only a good persons word against a drunken drugged mob of louts.

what if things hadn’t been stopped by that guy who spoke out, what if the attack had lasted 30 seconds longer? would you even be alive to share in this adventure called life? would i?

bad things happen to good people, but its hard to accept that.

I’m just glad that you’re still here with me, with all of us and that you’re still the same you.

I’m glad that you are in my life

much love
<3

need a kick to get started >:|

So just a quick post, lol as if anyone reads this!
(it’s nice having a private/public diary~I can be honest with myself and it helps me not to be nasty to others ^^)
im lazy, and I am ambitious- the two dont really mix, its depressing but im a contradictory person.
I always need that kick to get me going and i found a song that might just inspire me to do so. its by J. Cole and its called the warm up

With college, crafting, cooking life etc I’ve come a long way- and I was on the verge of giving up because results weren’t coming as fast or a well as I’d like. but i need to just get my ass into gear and move into action because really, if I don’t want to do it for myself or my future with the people I love then whats the point of doing anything, or of wanting anything?
anyway these are the lyrics, enjoy.

You ever pray for something your whole life?
I mean all you dreamed about was this one thing.
I mean you know it’s coming,
You have faith and all that,
But sometimes,
Sometimes you second guess yourself.
That’s human nature I suppose,
Second guessing,
When life seems to take you through more downs than ups,
Seems to give you more losses than wins.
But do you stand tall and be bold?
Or do you fold?
Do you believe?
See I came a long way,
Way too far for me to stop now,
Not that I would stop anyways but,
I’m so close I can feel it.
Can you feel it?

Things I despise right now.

Megan Fox
seriously she looks filty- go take a bath.

Tangoed women.
ok i understand it happens even to good people occasionally….but ew

shorts that don’t cover your butt.
I do not care for your bum cheeks, now let me eat my sammich.

rude street talkers
i stop to talk to friends too, i dont keep the whole footpath to myself. move to one side you footpath whores.

spitters.
screw you meatbag, your momma didnt give you enough clips round the ear as a child?
go share your saliva with the decrepit cess pool of stupid people who’d enjoy it.

fools
i am immature and childish, i laugh out loud, i am not however one of those people who is an idiot.
go breed in some trailer park/bush somewhere, and stay away from me.
i know they breed more than the intelligent people, so one day we’ll be swimming in absolute two brain celled morons.
i await this with an axe and a fully loaded double barrel shot gun- im gonna go out zombie style or not at all.

pretentious art that is crap
i like art.
i like pretentious art.
your watercoloured stripes on some paper with clay smeared on it is not art. go join the breeding idiots and await your doom.

not being able to spell.
negociable is not negotiable but i continue each and every time to make the same mistake. i refuse to join the idiot squad just yet- im making the effort not to screw up

bullies
twits who do not deserve a second chance normally i fully believe in giving chances when someone fucks up, but if a child is mean and a bully when they are small and they continue like so even after correction, then they were just plain born mean and i hate them- they should be sterilised before they get a chance to join forces with the idiot to create strong bitchy idiots.

moaning
which is what im doing right now. XD oh hypocrisy thou art a heartless bitch.

swearing
which i also do on a weekly basis- i try not to use it when i write or type though, however i have used bitch several times in the post. bitchin’ to me is not swearing btw.

why all this venting is cheering me up
dunno why but it is, i wish it didnt, but it does 8D

ya know like, i like like it like, ya know like?

like, anyone who knows me knows that i am a very typical cork-conian in that I finish most (if not all) of my sentences with the word like.
Maybe it’s an irish thing

this:

Fasionista, please!

Ladies and gents,
I’ve had a taste of project runway and like the obscene sugar loving pig i am i want more of this delectable sugar glazed moronic crap!
I realise its not going to help humanity or change the world but dammit my brain demands chewing gum for the mind!
and chewing gum it shall have!!!!!!
>:D

Update:
D:
It’s impossible to see project runway when I’m well!!! I need to be sick more often D:

its just what I do, deal with it.

i do small talk.
it just what i do.
i like talking to people i barely know.
its more of a habit than nosiness, and it disturbs my other half, so whats not to like?
but i also do rants.
long drawn out rants on various topics i consider scandalous.
like the church, or the courts, or you know things that “they” are in control of.
so thats me,
i do small talk,
and rants,
and them.
hmmm
oh and i do anger and helplessness and frustration too.
and their friends the three sisters; regret, stupidity and “not quite sure what to say until three days after and ive already said a crap comeback” (you think of a better name for the third sister, I’ve got better things to do! XP)

no sick no how

bah!!
been sick with one thing immediately after the other with the last few weeks >(
missed days at work and everything-my bed and duvet were my bessie mates XD

but I have stuff written-just need to upload it!
(cue appreciative “ooooooh” sound!)