need a kick to get started >:|

So just a quick post, lol as if anyone reads this!
(it’s nice having a private/public diary~I can be honest with myself and it helps me not to be nasty to others ^^)
im lazy, and I am ambitious- the two dont really mix, its depressing but im a contradictory person.
I always need that kick to get me going and i found a song that might just inspire me to do so. its by J. Cole and its called the warm up

With college, crafting, cooking life etc I’ve come a long way- and I was on the verge of giving up because results weren’t coming as fast or a well as I’d like. but i need to just get my ass into gear and move into action because really, if I don’t want to do it for myself or my future with the people I love then whats the point of doing anything, or of wanting anything?
anyway these are the lyrics, enjoy.

You ever pray for something your whole life?
I mean all you dreamed about was this one thing.
I mean you know it’s coming,
You have faith and all that,
But sometimes,
Sometimes you second guess yourself.
That’s human nature I suppose,
Second guessing,
When life seems to take you through more downs than ups,
Seems to give you more losses than wins.
But do you stand tall and be bold?
Or do you fold?
Do you believe?
See I came a long way,
Way too far for me to stop now,
Not that I would stop anyways but,
I’m so close I can feel it.
Can you feel it?